Sure, you expected to spend your retirement years traveling with your spouse of 40+ years. But life intervened and now you’ve found yourself alone. Whether you’re single due to the loss of a spouse or because of a divorce, it can be overwhelming putting yourself “out there” when you’re ready to begin dating.
Here are a few dating tips to consider:
Let Family & Friends Know
Your family and friends know your personality and what brings you happiness. Why not let them know you’re ready to date? They might know a single coworker, neighbor or acquaintance that may be of interest to you. Allow them to play matchmaker. Just be sure that neither you nor your date force them to choose sides should the relationship not work out.
Focus on Your Interests
There’s no better way to break the ice than by having a common interest. Spend time pursuing activities that bring you joy. Are you into biking? Pottery? Astronomy? Continue to participate in these activities even as a single person. Websites such as Meetup.com allow you to search for upcoming events tied to areas of interest. You never know who you’ll meet during one of these outings. It could be a potential match made in heaven!
Sure, your ex-spouse was 6-feet tall and bald but that doesn’t mean every other man you date needs to have that same look. Don’t exclude potential partners because you’re stuck on a “type”. Focus on on the person’s character: Is he kind? Does she respect you? Is he honest? Do you feel valued? Those are far better traits to focus on than physical appearance.
Avoid Becoming a Victim
You’ve met your dream guy. He’s telling you all the things that you want to hear including how he plans to spend the rest of his life with you – as soon as he returns from the Middle East or an African nation. These scenarios are classic Catfish (person pretends to be someone they are not by stealing photos from others’ social media pages) scams. He may even claim that he’s in the military, hoping to play on your love of country. Don’t be a victim. Never send money via Western Union or wire transfer to anyone you have not met in person, regardless of the sob story you’re given.
There is a wealth of tools at your fingertips that can be used to screen potential dates. From using Google to do a reverse lookup of their telephone number (type the person’s phone number into the search box) to background checks, there is no shortage of information about each of us online. Do their stories align with what you’ve been told? Look out for potential red flags such as undisclosed convictions.
Remember to be Realistic
Yes, your new partner should possess the list of qualities you’re looking for, but keep in mind that no one is perfect – including you. Be fair when deciding if a man/woman is a right fit. His voice was too high pitched. She snorted when she laughed too hard. but, do their good qualities outweigh the perceived wrongs? Try not to be superficial when deciding on a second date. You never know what you could be missing out on by being shallow.
The most important tip of all is to simply be yourself and have fun!