Dating can be a daunting task as you enter your golden years. The pain of losing a spouse to natural causes, chronic illness, or a devastating accident can deter some from seeking love again. Likewise, ending a long marriage to a nasty divorce or gradual drifting apart may color your view on romance in general. Still others may have never found their perfect match and are still on the hunt for a life partner, even as they enter retirement.
The dating world is a strange place, and has changed drastically since most seniors were in the game. But there is some help along the way if you are looking to find another partner to spend your golden years with.
1. Dating Sites & Singles Spots
More people meet online than ever before. Most relationships begin from meeting at work or online. So if you’re retired or work from home, your best bet is to get acquainted with the e-world of romance and love.
The best dating websites for seniors are:
- Senior Match
- Match
- eHarmony
- Our Time
- Elite Singles
- Senior People Meet
Seniors may or may not have success on these sites:
- Christian Mingle
- OK Cupid
- Plenty of Fish
These smartphone dating apps may have mixed results for seniors:
- Coffee Meets Bagel
- Zoosk
- Tinder
- Bumble
If you prefer to meet your match in real life, check your local listings for senior singles events, cruises and Meetups. These can be found in your local newspapers or online message boards. Facebook groups and event pages, and Meetup.com are great places to start.
2. Fishing in a Shallow Pool
The latest in marriage and relationship studies have uncovered some interesting and somewhat discouraging information. It seems the longer you wait to marry after your early 30s the more likely you are to divorce. It’s been known for a long time that marrying young has a negative impact on marriage. But now it seems marrying too late has a similar effect.
The reasons for this uncomfortable reality are most likely related to the shallow dating pool that is left over as you get older. The best picks are often already married by their late 30s, leaving a dating pool overcrowded with people unsuitable for marriage, carrying lots of emotional baggage, or with other problems that make them less desirable as life partners. This can lead some single seniors to settle for less than ideal partners to avoid walking through life alone. But it’s best to keep your standards and hopes high. Settling for less than you deserve won’t make you happier than enjoying life on your own.
3. Getting Back in the Game
It’s probably been a long time since you’ve been on a date. You may not know the unspoken rules of courtship anymore. The cool places to go, what to talk or not talk about, or what your date expects of you. So you’re likely to find your senior caller is in the same predicament. You’ll probably go on several awkward dates before getting into the swing of things. Both you and your potential date may not really know how to date or court anymore. You may have the ins and outs of a romance or marriage down, but dating is a different animal all together.
4. The Quick and the Dead
Unfortunately, seniors must disproportionately deal with death and remarriage much more often than younger singles. Retirees back in the dating game will have to spot and sort out those who have recently lost a spouse and are looking to remarry quickly. You’ll have to be careful in these cases because becoming what is essentially a replacement spouse can cause a lot of stress in the family you marry into, as well as tension in your relationship. Make sure your new partner thinks you are right for them, not just the first suitable spouse to come around and round out the family. You don’t want to marry someone who thinks just about anyone will do.
Dating later in life can be exhilarating or exhausting. Keeping an open mind and continuing to search for the right partner will help you traverse obstacles and deal with letdowns. Make sure to spend time with your family and friends as you look for a life partner. A full, well-balanced life will help you attract a suitable mate, and help your family welcome them in to their lives.
