Beginning a new romance in your golden years comes with opportunities and challenges. Unions in your senior years have uncommon aspects that need to be considered. It can be hard to face these issues not knowing if your experience is typical, or what exactly to expect. So to help you navigate your senior romantic landscape, here are 4 more things to note on late in life relationships.
1. Dealing with grief
Marrying in your later years means you are very likely to be dealing with grief in some form. It may be the unresolved grief of your new spouse for a passed partner. But it could also be the grief from losing another loved one in the family. The passing of your partners’ parents, siblings, friends or extended family could leave them in a serious state of depression if left unacknowledged and untreated. These states of sadness may also be expressed as intermittent anger and frustration. You may also be dealing with these same feelings of loss. So it’s best to get a proactive handle on the processing of everyone’s feelings so your union can be built on a firm foundation.
2. Dealing with family
Coming into a family that is already complete can be difficult. If met with animosity, you may not feel there’s room for you in your new family. Adult and adolescent children alike can feel crowded out of their relationship with their parent when a new face comes into the picture. You know you can’t replace the parent they lost to divorce or death, and they need to know you don’t intend to try. They should also feel like you’re not trying to take their remaining parent from them and hoard him or her for yourself. You are all sharing this wonderful experience together.
3. Dealing with resistance
Your new spouse’s family and friends understandably may have a sense of loyalty to a previous spouse. They may not approve of their moving on too quickly after a breakup or loss. There may be some personal disapproval of you as a person because of a potentially sorted or complex history of your own. But more than not, any family animosity will be general and felt toward any newcomer. Don’t take things too personally even if they seem to be. Adding a new family member can be stressful, and some need a little longer to adapt to change.
4. Dealing with wills
Money can add a stressful dynamic to any family. What once was a peaceful existence could quickly sour into aggressive attitudes. When marriage occurs later in life, wills and inheritance often get shuffled around. Your spouse’s offspring could be offended by the idea of being forced to share their portion of any inheritance they may be in line to receive with another person they hardly know. This can appear unfair and is something to consider and take seriously. You do want to be protected if your newly beloved passes. However, you don’t need to make unnecessary waves with their kids. Think about what’s fair and will keep everyone feeling safe and validated.
The honeymoon period should be an amazing time of life. But it can sometimes bring unexpected hurdles that must be faced. Marrying later in life often involves more people in the relationship. This could expand the love or muddle the emotions. Face hardships head on and try to understand any hesitations or objections to your new union. But remember to put love first and keep working on making your relationship better every day.
